Am I okay with it? Yes and No.

My nearly-18-year-old wants to join the military.

This is not a new development.

Son #1 has been fascinated with all things Army/Navy/Air Force/Marine since he was just a little guy. As a mom, I can't say it was my first choice of childhood interests, but I still bought him mite-sized camo outfits for Halloween, and let him wear his army pants to school. It made him happy. And I figured this, too, would pass.

But "There Goes a Tank" videos were eventually replaced with war movies and episodes of "Carrier," plastic green soldiers were supplanted by aircraft models and paint fumes, and now the sky above my son's bed looks like this:

The official declaration of intent has been a long time coming, but I think Son-1's fate was actually sealed back in 2008 when he shook hands with an A-10 pilot at a Blue Angels air show.

On Friday, we had family meetings with officers from the Air Force and Navy ROTC programs at the University my son will attend in the fall. I'm still not crazy about the idea of a career in the Service. But I told him he'd have my blessing if he received a college degree - first. So he will.

When people ask me if I'm okay with it, with having a son join the military, I answer honestly: "Yes and no."

Yes, because Son-1 has agreed to get a year or two of college behind him before he makes any commitments, and will finish his degree before he is commissioned. Yes, because I believe that serving our country is an honorable profession. And, Yes, because this is what he really wants.

However, there are things I'm not okay with. I'm not okay with him killing people (though I know that's sometimes part of the job, and that sometimes the taking of one life means the saving of another - or of many others - which makes the whole thing an issue I have yet to, and may never, resolve). And, No, I'm not okay with him being regularly placed in harm's way. I am also very concerned about the mental health repercussions of combat suffered by so many of our veterans: PTSD, substance abuse, depression, suicide. As a mother and a human being, this stuff scares the shit out of me.

Maybe, hopefully, four years from now, there will be peace on the planet. Maybe borders won't need defending, innocent people won't be getting slaughtered by their country's rulers, and terrorists will have found something more constructive to do.

Because, even though he might not love it, I wouldn't mind it if this little guy had to find a desk job.